Darren Holloway

Remember to handle every stressful situation like a dog: If you can’t eat it or hump it, pee on it and walk away.

The camera built into the IPhone is pretty crappy. But then again, sometimes the best camera is the one you have with you at the time…

Demonstrating the highest level of commitment to workplace safety.

When I was in Japan and would eat at a restraunt, this is typical of the meal. 800 yen ~ $8

People learn that certain things are a certain way, like the brake is on the left. Eventually, they develop subconscious affordances such as brake instead of push left foot.
The gas station nearest to me obviously understands the affordance of cheapest button is on the left.

When people don't eat enough shrimp, they grow into these monsters. I think I saw one of them fighting Godzilla.

This is apparently how brussel sprouts grows in the wild - In the form of a club for striking people.

One of my room-mates here at the hostel is French, and he has a French-Japanese phrase book. Naturally, it has a whole section on picking up women (or men), telling them you love them, and what to grunt during sex.

The funniest thing happened to me today…

I was in Ritsuin Park in Takamatsu, and a little Japanese girl, probably about six years old, ran up to me and just stared. I mean the whole, mouth-open, utter amazement stare. I said “Konnichiwa” (hello) to her and she just kept staring.

I think I must have been the first white person she’s ever seen…

So where have I been?

I spent three days up in Nikko, a little temple-town in the mountains north of Tokyo – it snowed on me. I could have gone to Canada and been snowed upon. Then again, Canada doesn’t have the “see no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil” monkeys – They’re in Nikko. And, of course, I saw them and forgot to take a picture.

After Nikko, I went back to Tokyo for a few days, then headed off to Okayama, which is where I am now. Today I day-tripped to Takamatsu, and tomorrow I’m going to Tsuyama. After that, off to Kyoto.

Whistling at the wind

There’s something to that old saying about not whistling at the wind. For example:

1. In the last entry, I mentioned that I was only backing up my photos to my portable hard drive, because the Internet was too slow to back them up across the Pacific ocean. Whistling at the wind. The hard drive died on me when I got to Nikko, and I lost my first day and a half of photos. My solution now is (a) make two seperate DVD backups, (b) mail one to home, and (c) mail one to work.
3. When I mailed back DVDs, I decided to mail back my rain pants as well, since it hadn’t rained yet, and I needed the space in my bag. Whistled at the wind. Poured on me the next day.

I hate Visa

I seem to have developed a routine:

1. Try to buy something with visa card.
2. Be declined.
3. Call visa – yes, I know buying things in Japan is outside my normal spending pattern. That’s because I’m in Japan!

Toilets

I have now experienced the whole spectrum – the trough in the floor, and the high-tech “heat the seat, wash your butt, and motor down the lid” type. It shouldn’t be too hard to guess which one I prefer.

Time to start burning more DVDs…

Real-life work email:

From: Darren Holloway
To: All Employees – Mountain View
Subject: Found: Bowling Ball.

I found a bowling ball. If it’s yours, you can claim it by (a) coming to my cube, and (b) presenting a plausible explanation as to how it is possible to lose a bowling ball.

As usual, Fry’s Electronics has a couple of full-page spreads in today’s San Jose Mercury News newspaper.

In keeping with the time of year, the ads are titled “Valentine’s gift ideas.” The ads show big-screen TVs, digital cameras, washing machines, and motherboards…

Yes, motherboards. Because nothing says “romance” like a new motherboard.

If this isn’t enough of a problem, they’re not even good motherboards! Visualize with me for a second…

A couple is sitting together on a love seat. The lights are low, candles are burning, and romantic music is playing.

He: Happy valentine’s day, dear! I got you a present.

She: (Unwraps present) It’s a…. motherboard…

She: What, was the flower store out of roses? And it’s not even a good motherboard! Just look at that shoddy chipset! You couldn’t even get me something with a 1333 frontside bus?

I’ve started getting back into dancing; going out several nights a week. Unfortunately, since I haven’t been dancing in a long time, I kinda suck.

But not the good kind of suck, like Donny Osmond in this music video :)